The Sky is the Limit

Christina | Victoria

My disability was deemed as attention seeking by the people around me. Due to lack of acceptance, I felt that I could only unmask at school. The people who pushed for me to get a diagnosis were the teachers at school. My teachers gave me reassurance and some of them still support me to this day.

However, my struggles with anxiety meant that I missed birthday parties, school events and so many other social occasions, which made me feel isolated from the rest of the world. It has only really been the last few years that my anxiety has allowed me to attend some of these events.

Recently, I attended an event at my old school. I was standing with one of the teachers who still works there. Being in the crowd made me feel anxious and tense, and I felt myself starting to shake. However, after the event, I realised that six years ago I would not have been able to attend without bursting into tears.

This recent experience made me realise how my autism has changed its presentation as I have got older. Now I can manage my anxiety better. I could manage the recent event at the school and express my anxiety because I was with someone I trust and who understands who I am. However this is not always the case. My anxiety fluctuates and sometime I feel like I have to mask how I'm feeling. This is a protective mechanism so that I feel like I can fit in with social norms and feel safe.

However, looking back on my years at school, I would never have thought that I would have graduated with a double degree of Business and Law or completed my Practical Legal Training. My autism and anxiety has not prevented me from pursuing a legal career, and I am grateful for the people around me that have supported me. In fact, my autism is what has encouraged me to purse my interest in human rights. While I am at the start of my journey in the international law and human rights field, my ambitions are big. I feel that nothing is going to stop me from achieving my dream career as the sky is the limit.

However, I acknowledge that I am one of the lucky ones because there are many autistic people that do not have adequate support. I cannot thank the people and the teachers who were there for me through those dark and difficult years of my life. I keep reminding myself that the sky's the limit and that I can rise to the challenges ahead. Even though it can feel that society is not designed for people with autism, nothing is going to stop me from achieving my career goals. I am always going to be autistic and I still suffer from anxiety but this is not going to stop me.