Navigating friendship: The realities of building meaningful connections
By Li | 23 | Brisbane/Meanjin
More and more young people are feeling lonely. I have seen many posts on Facebook from young adults sharing their feelings of loneliness and desire for companionship.
You would think that we are more connected than ever with the internet at our fingertips, but the reality is complicated.
Sure, we have social media to keep in touch, but its design is flawed. It’s so easy to swipe away text messages or leave people on read. You can be picky with who you interact with. Social media also curates highly polished versions of people’s lives, reinforcing unrealistic standards around relationships.
Life is already busy enough juggling all sorts of responsibilities - family, work, school, and trying to figure out our future. It can be hard to make time for friends. It was easier to make friends at school, but once we graduated, things changed. Some friendships faded away as we didn’t really share any other common interests outside of school. Also, everyone goes off to do their own thing after school - find a job, go to uni, chase their dreams or move away.
Australia’s landscape can make it difficult to maintain in-person relationships as well.
Our cities are big. If you don’t have a car, getting around to see friends can be annoying. Public transport isn’t always reliable or accessible. Cost of living is also high and we often have to skip out on recreational activities to keep ourselves alive, limiting opportunities to socialise. Even free hangout spots like parks can be out of reach if you live suburbs away from your friends.
We need to change our expectations around relationships, especially in the complex environment we live in.
I think it’s important to discover ourselves first and take the time to explore our interests first to share with others. Government support for community programs and infrastructure improvements (like better public transport and accessible hangout spots) could make places better for creating connections with people as well.
Making meaningful friendships requires patience, self-compassion, courage and a willingness to invest time and energy.
There are people, events and groups out there for everyone, but it’s critical to find what is suitable for you and your situation and that takes time. Friendships come and go and that’s ok - it doesn’t reflect your worth as a person. Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or healthcare professionals along the way if you feel lonely - they’re here to help.
The views expressed in AYAC’S youth blog are personal and and not an endorsement of AYAC; we value and encourage the diverse perspectives of young people.